The countdown begins

In exactly 8 weeks I will be all packed and heading out of Texas. I would be lying if I said I was excited or looking forward to it.  It is a huge change in my life.  Almost a 180.  Since making this decision I have been dealing with a huge variety of emotions, sometimes one at a time, sometimes all at once. This a very scary thing to do all on your own.  Granted, there really is not much keeping me here in Texas other than my job, but what good is that if I have to live in my car?  Not that I would have but it was an option I had.

So here I am, going through my things trying to decide what I absolutely need to take with me and either sell or give away the rest.  This is a very humbling experience. One like I have never experienced before.  Yes, I have had to start over in the past, but nothing like this.  When you reach the age of 34 you think you should have your life together and be settled in but it is not always the case apparently. There were a few things that contributed to this decision, one of which was not being able to find a roommate.  This, in reality, was the last straw.  Last year when I was in a similar situation, but found a roommate at the last minute, I was lucky.  I am  almost wishing I had not stayed then.  This has been one hell of a  year here, at least personal life wise.

But I guess that is all over, right? Well, I hope it is.  I am not even really thinking about that right now, I can’t.  I have to focus on tying up any loose ends here, find a home for my dog (that is KILLING me),  getting things sorted and packed, and getting job leads.  All this and my 3 or so daily panic attacks.  I am hoping those get better when I get at least half way to WI.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not all bad.  I am looking forward to seeing friends I have not seen in FOREVER, and meeting one or two new people I have been talking to here and there.  I am glad I will have family nearby and an actual support system.  So if any of you are reading, thank you in advance.

So here I go, let the countdown begin.


~ by phoenix924 on October 7, 2011.

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