Learning even more about the past

So this book idea is still sticking with me thanks to a friend of mine, you know who you are, woman!

I have started jotting down things I remember and want to write about and questions I need to ask my family to clarify things.  I actually asked my mom some things this morning.  I almost didn’t ask her but I was half awake and figured what the hell.  I learned a lot.  Some things I sort of knew and a few new pieces of information that helped fit some other pieces together.  If I do end up doing this thing, it is a few years in the making, that is for sure.

I now can understand why my mom did not like the fact I idolized my dad so much when I was little.  I can see things from the perspective of an adult, not just a 6 year old.  I found out my parents’ marriage/divorce had some things in common with mine.  Adultery, the length of the marriage (9 years for me, 10 for them), they met at work, so did we.  I can almost put myself in my mom’s shoes now.  I can see how she felt, because I have felt it.  It is not a good feeling.  She has grown from it and learned from her mistakes.  I know she hoped we would learn from her mistakes as well, but not knowing the whole story and being as stubborn as my sisters and I are, we had to learn on our own.

I am now on a mission to find out as much as I can from everyone in my family.  I need to validate my memories and make sure I was not making any of it up in my head.

I hope the thought of me (possibly) writing this (possible) book does not offend any of my family. I know getting it all out onto paper is something I need to do.  If it could ever help someone who is in my position, then great.  That is if I decide to share it.


~ by phoenix924 on August 21, 2011.

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