Finding my passion and starting school.

I graduated High School in 1995.  I have not been in a classroom (other than work related training) since then.  I always knew I wanted to do something more than I was with my life, I just never knew what.  Figuring out what you want to be when you grow up is hard!

Throughout the years I went from wanting to be a physical therapist, a daycare owner, to God knows what else, but nothing really fit.  I did not know what my passion was.  Until about a year before my divorce, that is.  In the last half of 2007 I was a foster mom.  We had a 9 year old boy who, on his good days, was the sweetest little boy ever.  We had plans to adopt him and his older brother (we had not moved him in yet).  Notice I said on his “good days”.  There were not that many.  When he was placed with us we knew of his past and were told he had ADHD and depression.  Not so much.  Turns out, we had a rapid-cycling bi-polar child who felt the urge to do harm to himself and us.  I was determined to help him.  I took him to therapy every week and when it got very bad, I took him and admitted him into a psychiatric hospital for a week. I visited him every night.  It was when speaking with his therapist and watching her work with him, a light bulb went off.  THIS is what I want to do.  I have always been drawn to helping others but just never knew in what capacity.  I looked into what it took to be a therapist and was instantly discouraged by the amount of schooling it took.  I just did not think I was smart enough to do college, work, and be a wife.  This was one of my lowest times in my life.  I was really at the bottom, mentally.  We ended up losing this little boy and his brother (I say we, but I did not really have a say thanks to the ex husband) and I was devastated and I went into “exist” mode once again.  It was not until after I discovered my ex’s affair and started therapy of my own that the idea of doing this was cemented in my head.  It took me a while, and if you read my previous post “Relearning Relationships –  Part One” you see I had a few distractions.  But I recently decided it is now or never and enrolled in college.  I recently finished my first two classes and have A’s in both.  Hopefully I can keep up the momentum I have gained and keep going.  I have a long journey ahead of me and I can’t wait to see what is ahead.

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~ by phoenix924 on July 22, 2011.

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