Relearning Relationships – Take One

The first relationships after the separation/divorce were not healthy relationships, but merely a place for me to feel like I was a part of someone’s life.  I was dead inside and I know now that it was unfair of me to even try to be in a relationship with someone, but live and learn, right?  I did find someone about 2 months after my divorce was finalized and it seemed almost surreal.  How, after all this time where I felt like a empty shell, could there be someone who made me smile again and believe there was a world out there full of color? Well, it did happen, I will call him T.  We fell hard and we fell fast, the chemistry between us was electric.  We were happy and in love.  The mere thought of him made me beam.

 All was great until around 4 months into the relationship when his ex-wife decided to make her displeasure known.  Long story short: false police reports, CPS cases  – all unfounded, and her lies to the children about me and their father, were the beginning of the end.  I mentioned his children. There were 4, 2 boys and 2 girls.  To this day I love them with every fiber of my being.  I digress, T and I started dating in November and by May we were engaged.  He had asked me when we were sitting on my front porch in the evening.  I of course said yes.  I loved this man and wanted to be a part of his life and have him a part of mine. We got through the summer with relative ease, all things considered, and the kids and I really started to bond.  I got so attached to all of them and still smile when I think of the fun we had.  I was willing to go through anything I had to to make this work and be with him.  We did just that – until September.

 We were planning on a trip back to see my family for my birthday.  I bought the tickets and we were all set to go visit for a week.  It started off just fine until we got to the hotel.  T got a call from his ex, I shall call her C, saying there was something wrong and something very bad happened.  I will not go into too much detail here out of respect, as it is still an ongoing issue.  Well, we ended up flying back home the a day and a half later. upon returning home, his oldest son moved in with us full time.  I will openly admit I was not thrilled about this.  I love this kid, but did not like his actions all the time, he lied and stole from me on a regular basis – he had issues I still to this day do not know the full extent of.  I played the part of supportive girlfriend/fiance/whatever and supported T in anyway I could. Well, that worked until the end of October. By November 14 he had moved out.  I was devastated.

Again, in the span of a little over a year, my life was thrown into upheaval.  This is tough on a person.  I did not know what to do.  Rationally I knew I had a choice to make: do I stay in Texas where I have no family, a few friends, and almost no connections, or do I cut ties and move back in with Mom 1300 miles north? I was leaning towards Mom’s but so glad I stayed.  It was a rough few weeks at first, struggling with this decision.  I was in tears over losing T and the kids, over having another failed relationship, and at a loss for what to do next.  It took me over 8 months (longer than it took with the divorce) to TRULY get to a place where I wasn’t pining for T, hoping to reunite.  Heck, in reality, it was only a few weeks ago I finally decided I had enough and was done with it… But onward and upward.

TL;DR : got divorced, found great guy with crazy ex wife, single again

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~ by phoenix924 on July 21, 2011.

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